They won’t like my Status! Your Teenager, Jealousy & Social sites

While it is normal for the average teenager to be jealous of their peers, in this modern era of multiple social sites such as Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr, parents of teens are faced with a new kind of jealousy in their children as they angst over the number of people who friend their peers and rivals, how many friends they have, and how often their statuses are “liked” or who replies.

While this might seem trivial to a parent, modern teens are often ranked in their social groups by how popular they are online. These feelings of jealousy are only intensified when their peers post pictures of coveted material possessions, club or sports achievements, or update statuses that boast about getting a date with that perfect girl or guy that your teenager has been crushing on for months. Jealousy over Internet popularity among young people is increasing daily, but there are steps parents can take to combat it.

Parents need to be aware that this kind of jealousy does exist and can sometimes lead to negative behavior such as Internet stalking, cyber-bullying, and an increased loss of self-esteem. As stalking and bullying can have legal fallout, especially if the child being bullied or stalked causes himself or others harm, parents should monitor their teenager’s online activity and discuss negative feelings with their son or daughter. While it’s hard to get any teenager to open up, feelings of jealousy are often much more intense in teens, and they are much more apt to act on it than an adult. To diffuse these feelings, parents should approach their teen when they are not dealing with them at that moment.

Choose a quiet place where there will be no interruptions. Once the subject is broached, prepare for the teen to become defensive, as many of them will be embarrassed over their jealousy. Parents should remind their teen that while it’s easy to get swept away in the competitiveness of social media, what’s more important are their actions, words, and feelings in the real world and that they are only feeding their rivals’ superior feelings with their jealousy. While it will be difficult for some teens to see past what they are feeling and seeing on their computer monitors, it may be helpful for them to understand that the more they focus on the person they are jealous of, the less self-esteem they are able to feel.

One tactic to battle Internet jealousy is to limit time at the computer. The less time teens spend obsessing who is dating who or who has gotten what for their birthday, Christmas, or who got into what club at school, the more time they can spend focusing on their own personal goals. Have them make a list of goals each week, and the more they achieve, the less time they’ll have to feel jealous of other kids who enjoy boasting about all they have on Facebook.

Self-confidence is the key to being a well-adjusted teenager, and once they understand that what they’re feeling is normal and that there are ways to turn their jealousy into something positive, the green-eyed Facebook monster will make less of an appearance at the computer every night.